"Find hungry samurai" -Gisaku

00696 - BREACH

MovieHype00696 - BREACH

While I have nothing bad to say about BREACH, the run up at dinner may have been more entertaining than anything we saw on screen. My mom was trying to decide whether to see the film and asked me for some background.

"BREACH is about a man called to lead a church in Sunday morning services. Oh, wait: that's PREACH."

This opened the floodgates, as my family and I tried to come up with as many of these as possible.

"BREACH is the inspirational story of Ty Cobb. Oh, wait: that's The Georgia Peach."

"BREACH is the story of a curly-headed dork who must stay alive at Bayside. Oh, wait: that's SCREECH."

"BREACH is about a world where color is fading everywhere. Oh, wait: that's BLEACH."

"BREACH is the epic tale of a boy hoping to grow tall enough to get the cookies on the top shelf. Oh, wait: that's REACH."

"BREACH is a tearjerking tale about two women (who may actually be lesbians): no, that's BEACHES."

"BREACH is a Socialism propaganda documentary about the more equal distibution of resources. No, that's EACH."

"BREACH is about the horrible medical practices of the middle ages. Wait, that's LEECH."

"BREACH is about a man called to indoctrinate (TEACH) a whole group of people (SPEECH)

perhaps my favorite:

"BREACH is the epic story of two jellos destined to get together. Oh, wait: that's GRAITCH."

And so forth.

Actually, BREACH is the story of FBI spy Robet Hanssen, perhaps the worst spy in American history. Hanssen is portrayed by the always wonderful Chris Cooper, the always radiant Laura Linney, the always should be our leader President Palmer (I think his real name is Dennis something or other, but my older sister and I decided he should forever be President Palmer), and the film is anchored by Ryan Phillipe, best known to most as the guy from CRUEL INTENTIONS or the soon to be EX Mr. Reese Witherspoon. I find him to be a mostly bland boring actor whose plum roles (CRASH, GOSFORD PARK, FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS, ) were undoubtedly due to his Reese connections, but my sister and father liked him, so what do I know?

This being a short review, you might be tempted to think that BREACH was a boring film. Far from it. While a bit dry and never flashy, it nonetheless was interesting and watchable for those who are into such things. It's just...there really isn't more to say. About Hanssen I could write a ton, but the movie (understandably) is not from his perspective, so we are left to guess on that score.

BREACH ain't Alias, or 007. It's much more nuts and bolts. But if you like that sort of thing, or just want to bask in Chris Cooper's awesomeness, go ahead and give it a try.

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